Student Community

Course Forums

 

Log in or Register from the menu above to post a message.
Notifications
Clear all

Pie Charts - Overview


Tarkan Üsküdar
(@tarkan)
New Member
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 3
Topic starter  

Overall, the amount of energy which was generated increased each year, and while coal was by far the most popular fuel in 1950, oil and gas consumption gained this position after 1980.

 

Thank you.


Quote
Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
 

Hi Tarkan. You have written a fantastic overview! It contains a good general description of 2 main chart features, it is one sentence and contains accurate and complex grammar. Great job!


ReplyQuote
Stefania Lopez
(@stefania-lopez)
New Member Customer
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 2
 

Hi Sam, can you please take a look at my overview:

Overall, the electricity which was produced increased in each of the three years of the research. And while, oil and gas were the main sources of fuel for creating electricity in both 1980 and 2010, in 1950 this changed and by then coal was the most used source of fuel to generate electricity.


ReplyQuote
Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
 

@stefania-lopez This is a good overview but it is a little bit long. We should aim to write just one sentence that contains two trends/features of the data. You should try tp present data in chronological order if possible - it is confusing to the reader to jump from 1980 to 2010 and then back to 1950.

Looking at your grammar, avoid using 'And' to begin sentences. We also do not put a comma (,) after 'while'. We put it before 'while' if we want to make a contrasting clause. Here is a simplifed version of your overview:

'Overall, the electricity which was produced increased in each of the three years, with oil and gas becoming the most used source of fuel by 1980.'

More complex (lusing 'while'):

'Overall, the electricity which was produced increased in each of the three years of the research. While coal was the most used source of fuel in 1950, by 1980 it was overtaken by oil and gas.'

Let me know if you have any questions.


ReplyQuote
Naomi Adejumo
(@naomi-adejumo)
New Member Customer
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 3
 

Hi sam, is this ok?

Overall, the total energy generated increased per year; whilst coal use decreased, oil and gas use increased.


ReplyQuote
Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
 

@naomi-adejumo Yes excellent. For extra marks, we can use referencing to reduce repetition:

Overall, the total energy generated increased year on year; whilst coal use decreased, that of oil and gas rose.

We have also replaced 'per year' with language that reflects the longer time period: 'over the period' / 'year on year'


ReplyQuote
PRASUNA PANDIT
(@prasuna)
New Member
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 1
 

Hi Sam, is this ok?

 

Overall, the production of electricity increased over the period and coal had been the most significant way to generate electricity in 1950 and 1980 with an exemption in 2010, where oil and gas was major source of electricity production.


ReplyQuote
Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
 

@prasuna Sorry for the late reply. Yes this is a good attempt. I would connect your first two clauses in a different way; rather than using a simple conjunction (and) and repeating 'electricity', we can recognize that the production of electricity from coal is a part of the overall production of electricity.

'Overall, the production of electricity increased over the period, with the major contributor being coal except in 2010, where oil and gas became the major source of electricity production.'

We use the structure 'with + subject + verb ing' in the subordinate clause for subjects that are part of the event described in the main clause.

'Yesterday was a great day, with visiting the cinema being a highlight.'

It is better to use 'except' rather than 'exemption/exempt' in this context as the latter is more suitable in the context of law; if something is exempt, this is because a law or person with power allows it to be exempt.

Lastly, 'source' is countable so don't forget the article (a/the) before it.

Well done.

 


ReplyQuote
Share:

Subscribe

Join Our Newsletter

We send new lessons out to our subscribers every week.

Join the community!

FAQ

Have a look at the frequently asked questions here.

If you are still looking for answers, you can contact us at [email protected] or with messenger (below).

Are these lessons really free?

Yes. Study as many as you want!

If you have free lessons, why should I pay for a course?

You can use our lessons like you would an IELTS text book. However, with our online courses you can check your progress, be in full communication with our tutors and have your homework marked. This will greatly speed up your learning!

How can I pay for a course or 1 to 1 classes?

You can pay with PayPal or credit and debit cards.

Can I choose my tutor?

If you have a tutor preference, sign up to a class and let us know via email which tutor you prefer. If their schedule is not full, we will connect you together.

Can I get help from a tutor if I study the free lessons?

We offer basic support for students studying for free. This means that if you have questions, you can email us, or better, write in the comments section of the lesson. We will reply as soon as we can.