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[Sticky] Introductions and Welcome Pack


Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
Topic starter  

Hi there students! We have an IELTS welcome pack and android vocabulary app codes to send by email if you want to introduce yourself here. You can also ask our teachers non-course related questions.


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praba
(@praba)
New Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 2
 

The government should invest money in public services as well as music, arts and theatres.  They are all equally important to enhance our standard of living.  Arts, music and theatres gives a pleasure, happiness, and joy. Infrastructure gives healthy life.

Firstly, good infrastructure attracts foreign investments.  It improves the economic condition as a result there will be a plenty of job opportunities.  Eventually, it helps to increase the per capita income.  The country will prosper with the good economic development.  Moreover, people enjoy quality of health life.  Besides that, there is a room for health, good economic condition and employment opportunities to the people. For example, the country Singapore is maintaining very good infrastructure to the people.

Secondly, the government should invest reasonably in arts, music and theatres.  It is great way of people spending their free time.  Arts, music and theatres opens the door for creativity, innovation and invention.  It helps to align their lifestyle because they will have rich knowledge in their extra curriculum activities.  People, who are passionate their career in arts, music, and theatres are widely recognised and getting a decent income to run their lives.

In conclusion, public sector and arts, music and theatres are backbone of country's growth.  It is inseparable.  The government should go hand in hand. If it neglects one sector that will devastate the whole economy.


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Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
Topic starter  

Hi Praba,

Looking at your essay, the first thing I notice is that your word count is low (225). Make sure you can reach over 250 words in 40 minutes or you will lose marks for your task achievement. If you feel you waste a lot of time writing sentences, then deleting them, it might be that you need to spend time planning your essay more clearly before you write. Spend up to 10 minutes planning before you write. Plan your arguments and supporting ideas, and decide what your overall opinion is so you can write your thesis statement.

Then when you begin your essay, begin with a paraphrase of the task like this:

Some people argue that governments should spend public money to support the art, music and theatre, in addition to public services. I believe..  

After the paraphrase, you need to make your opinion clear with a sentence like ‘I believe…/In my opinion…/I will argue that…’

‘I believe that while public services are important, governments should also fund the arts if they want to support culture and help bring joy to their people.’

 

Your vocabulary is very good, but your grammar can be improved by lengthening your sentences. To do this, simply combine shorter, related sentences together. Here are some examples:

Arts, music and theatres gives a pleasure, happiness, and joy. Infrastructure gives healthy life.

Better: Art, music and theatre gives pleasure, happiness, and joy while Infrastructure helps support a healthy life.

Eventually, it helps to increase the per capita income.  The country will prosper with the good economic development

Better: Eventually, it helps to increase the per capita income, allowing the country to prosper with good economic development.

Notice that if we want to use a verb after a comma (,) we should use verb+ing (, allowing…)

 

In your conclusion, make it clear that you are stating your opinion, not a fact:

In conclusion, public sector and arts, music and theatres are backbone of country's growth.

Better: In conclusion, I argue that the public sector and arts, music and theatres are the backbone of a country's growth.

 

I hope that helps. I may move this post to be in a task 2 essay marking thread at a later date.

Sam


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hlyanhtetoo
(@hlyanhtetoo)
New Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 1
 
Posted by: @admin

Hi there students! We have an IELTS welcome pack and android vocabulary app codes to send by email if you want to introduce yourself here. You can also ask our teachers non-course related questions.

Hi, I'm Hlyan from Burma. I'd like the welcome pack and the app, please. 


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Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 103
Topic starter  

@hlyanhtetoo

Hi Hlyan, of course. I've sent you an email.


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