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Academic Writing Task 1

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Sam
 Sam
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If you have any questions related to Academic Writing Task 1, or you would like us to look at your work, let us know here. 


phuc vo
(@phucanhem123)
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Joined: 2 months ago
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Hey Sam, could you check my writing here 😀 because the website you give me on the web to check my full writing task 1 essay about table is not working so I will send here for you to check 😀 many thanks and have a good day Sam 😍 
Here's my work:

The table gives the information about the money that undergraduates in Nottingham had from different sources over the course of eleven years from 1988 to 1999

Overall, it is obvious that most of their income came from parental contribution and grant in the first three years surveyed. Another noteworthy feature is that the percentage of money they had from Student loan underwent an gradual increment during the period.

Grant and Parental contribution accounted for the largest percentage of their incomes with 38% and 32% respectively in the year 1988/89. A dramatic decrement was witnessed in the income from these two sources in the following years with a notable drop to around 15%. On the other hand, the money earned from student loan went up significantly from 8% to 24%

Earnings witnessed a gradual increase from 6% to 14% before plummeted to 12% in the last year given. Other sources of income experienced an moderate increase before reaching its peak at 34% in the last year given to become the largest source of the students income.

This post was modified 2 months ago 2 times by phuc vo

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Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 105
Topic starter  

@phucanhem123 

Hi there Phuc,

Let me check the task 1 introduction first. since we are introducing 'information', we should not use 'the' before the noun. Use 'the' for nouns that are already familiar to the reader (in this context we assume the bar chart is known to the reader, so we use 'the' before 'bar chart' at the beginning).

The bar chart gives information about...

However, it is more common to use verbs such as 'illustrates', 'demonstrates', 'shows'.

As you begin with 'the bar chart...', to avoid confusing the reader we should begin the contrasting clause with 'the pie chart...'

The bar chart gives information about... whereas the pie chart...

Your overview is excellent, with only two small errors. First, you shouldn't use capitals for the means of transport as these are generic nouns. Secondly, these nouns are countable, so we need an article or use the plural form:

...the means of transport are trains, trams and busses...
...the means of transport are the train, trams and bus...

The first example is of far more common usage. I recommend you mention two trends / features in the overview, which means it is not necessary to mention the popularity of taxis, especially as it is not an important trend.

Lastly, I suggest you combine your topic sentence and overview into one paragraph, otherwise your first paragraph is only one sentence long (acceptable for more informal texts). Some of the above points also relate to your tables report (see below).

Moving on to your table report, avoid using simple verbs like 'had' if there are more accurate academic alternatives:

the money that undergraduates in Nottingham received from different sources
the money that undergraduates in Nottingham obtained from different sources

The nouns 'grant', 'loan' and 'contribution' are countable nouns so should be plural: 'grants, loans and parental contributions'.

'increment' is a small unit increase, so we do not say 'a gradual increment'. Instead, use 'a gradual increase'. The same applies to 'decrement' / 'decrease'.

Well done for organising the data from largest to smallest percentages. You also included 'other sources' at the end, which is suitable since we do not know what those sources are.

To improve, you should also mention the data regarding money per student (at the bottom of the table) as this is important to the report.

Overall, well done!

This post was modified 2 months ago by Sam

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phuc vo
(@phucanhem123)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
 

Hi Sam 😀 can you check this one 😀 thankk you

 


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phuc vo
(@phucanhem123)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
 

Hey Sam 😀 could you please check my task 1 essay please 
Thanks

The data below shows the percentage of university students who were in part-time employment at five British universities between 1998 and 2008.

The line graph demonstrates the proportion of undergraduates in five universities in Britain who worked part time over the course of ten years from 1998 to 2008. Overall, it is evident that there was an increase in the number of students who were part-time employment in three instituitions (Highcastle, Fincleborough and Middleridge) whereas the opposite was true for Langslade

In 1998, there was 10% of students in Fincklebrough University who had a part-time job. This figure underwent a gradual increase with slight fluctuation before soaring considerably towards the end of the period surveyed to around 65%. On the other hand, Langslade witnessed a downward trend in the number of students working part- time with a sharp decrease of nearly 30% from 60% to 30% throughout the given period.

Highcastle and Middleridge shared a similar pattern with a start of approximately about 35% and the started to rise steeply, reaching 75% and 65% respectively at the end of the period. Another noteworthy feature is that the ratio of students in part time employment in North Anglia University oscillated between 10% and 15% over ten years

 


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phuc vo
(@phucanhem123)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
 

The bar chart below shows the number of students who studied three different subjects in 2001, 2002 and 2003.

The bar chart reveals the number of students in different subjects ( Geology, Sport studies and Psychology) over the course of three years from 2001 to 2003. Overall, it is apparent that although sport studies was the least popular subject in 2001, it had the highest number of students in the last year given.

In 2001, there was only 5 sport studies students, which was the lowest compared to the other. However, this number increased significantly by 15 to 20 students in 2003. The number of students who studied Geology remained nearly the same throughout the period surveyed, which was approximately 15 to 16.

A opposite pattern to Sport studies can be witnessed in Psychology where it had the highest number of students, which was at around 17 in 2001. A slight drop of 4 students was seen in the next two years, rendering Psychology the least popular in 2003

 

This post was modified 1 month ago 2 times by phuc vo

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phuc vo
(@phucanhem123)
Active Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 6
 

Sam 🙁 please check my IELTS writing because the page you give us on this website where you can check our IELTS writing task 1 is not working 

The maps reveal the Cook Lagoon before and after the proposed development for it to become a luxury resort complex. Overall, it is evident that Cook Lagoon will be transformed from a natural to a tourist area with a variety of amenities.

The most notable development can be witnessed to take place in the southern part of the are where the luxury villas are planned to be erected in the lagoon for the tourists to stay. In addition, there will be the construction of buildings for reception, restaurant and budget accommodation that occurs to the north of the villas, next to the beach and the river. Another noteworthy feature is that the Fish market in the west will be converted into a sealife tourist center.

In the northern part of the area given, trees and houses in the village will be cleared for the construction of a car park and road. There will also be a footpath to the west of the car park, which lead the visitors to the north and the beach in the resort complex.


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